How to Hire an Intimacy Coordinator: Ask Better Questions

The role of the Intimacy Coordinator is still relatively new, and that creates a challenge for producers and directors: How do you know whether the person you are hiring is actually prepared to do the job?

A certificate, accreditation, roster placement, or completion of a recognized training program can tell you that someone has met a particular set of requirements. It cannot tell you how that person will function on your set. And when you are hiring someone whose job involves performer safety, communication, choreography, conflict resolution, production logistics, and highly vulnerable material, that distinction matters.

So when hiring an Intimacy Coordinator, don't just ask:

"Are you trained?"

Ask:

"What are you trained to do?"

Start With Their Training

Ask where they trained, how long their training lasted, and, most importantly, what they actually learned. Listen carefully to the language they use when describing their education. Many intimacy training programs are divided into levels. Someone who has completed an introductory or Level 1 course may have learned valuable foundational concepts surrounding consent, boundaries, communication, and performer advocacy. Those are important skills. But they are not the entire job. An entry-level course should not automatically be interpreted as preparation to independently manage complex intimate content on a professional film set.

If someone is early in their training, that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't hire them. Everyone has to get their first job somewhere. Instead, ask what support system they have. Do they have an experienced mentor? Can they contact that mentor during pre-production or production if something arises that they haven't encountered before? Are they continuing their education? Do they recognize the limits of their own experience? Sometimes knowing when to ask for help is one of the strongest indicators that someone is ready to begin working professionally.

What Kind of IC Do You Actually Need?

There is another question productions don't ask nearly enough:

What do you want your Intimacy Coordinator to do?

Not every director wants the same working relationship with an IC. Some directors want an Intimacy Coordinator who can take a scene, work closely with the actors, build the physical storytelling, choreograph the movement, collaborate with camera, and help bring the director's vision safely to the screen.

Other directors prefer to choreograph most of the scene themselves and want an IC who takes a quieter role, observing, checking in with performers, maintaining established boundaries, and stepping in when necessary.

Neither approach is inherently wrong.

But those are very different jobs.

If you hire someone whose working style is fundamentally incompatible with the director's expectations, you can create unnecessary tension before you ever shoot the scene. Discuss this during the interview. Ask the IC how they prefer to work with directors. Ask how hands-on they are. Ask what they believe their role is during rehearsal and filming. Then determine whether their answer matches the needs of your production.

What Are You Actually Filming?

Don't hire an IC in a vacuum. Hire them for the material.

Read the script and consider what you are asking performers to portray. A romantic kiss between two fully clothed characters is not the same assignment as simulated intercourse, BDSM, sexual violence, group intimacy, fetish content, queer intimacy, sex work, kink, pregnancy, childbirth, historical sexual practices, or complicated choreography involving multiple performers.

Some productions may require specialized knowledge.

Ask:

"Have you worked with this type of material before?"

If they haven't, that doesn't automatically disqualify them. But ask what they know about it, whether they have received specialized education, what research they would undertake, and whether they have access to consultants or mentors who understand the material. An Intimacy Coordinator should never pretend expertise they don't possess.

Can They Choreograph?

Intimacy coordination isn't simply talking about boundaries. Eventually, somebody has to figure out how the scene physically works.

Can your IC choreograph movement?

Can they translate emotional and sexual storytelling into repeatable physical action?

Can they choreograph kissing, simulated sex, nudity, complex positioning, and multi-performer scenes?

Can they teach movement clearly to actors?

Can they adjust choreography when a performer changes a boundary?

And perhaps most importantly:

Do they understand how to choreograph for the camera?

A movement can be completely safe and beautifully performed and still not tell the story once you put a lens in front of it. An experienced IC needs to understand cheating movement for camera, sightlines, framing, coverage, continuity, blocking, camera placement, modesty barriers, and how physical choreography changes between a wide shot and a close-up. They are not simply coordinating intimacy. They are helping filmmakers film intimacy. That distinction is enormous.

Do They Understand a Working Film Set?

Knowing the language of consent is not the same as knowing the language of filmmaking. Ask about their production experience.

Do they understand what the director, AD department, DP, camera team, sound department, wardrobe, hair and makeup, and other departments are doing?

Do they understand a call sheet?

A shot list?

Coverage?

Blocking?

Rehearsal?

Continuity?

Closed-set protocols?

Do they understand when and how to communicate with each department without disrupting the production?

An IC is not working adjacent to the filmmaking process. They are part of it. The stronger their understanding of filmmaking, the more effectively they can collaborate with everyone around them.

Ask About Conflict Resolution and De-Escalation

Intimate scenes involve vulnerability, power dynamics, time pressure, creative differences, physical boundaries, and sometimes emotionally difficult material.

Eventually, something will go wrong.

Maybe an actor becomes uncomfortable.

Maybe a director and performer misunderstand one another.

Maybe something changes at the last minute.

Maybe a boundary gets crossed unintentionally.

Maybe production is running behind and pressure begins creeping into conversations that should never involve pressure.

What happens then?

An IC needs more than the ability to say, "Let's talk about consent."

They should have meaningful training in conflict resolution and de-escalation, and they should know how to communicate effectively when people are stressed. Training in Mental Health First Aid or comparable mental-health crisis-response skills is also an important competency to look for. An IC is not a therapist and should never attempt to become one on set, but they should know how to recognize distress, respond appropriately within the limits of their role, and understand when additional support is needed.

Experience Matters—But So Does Potential

There is a dangerous catch-22 in any emerging profession:

You need experience to get hired, but somebody has to hire you before you can get experience. So don't automatically reject a promising IC because they haven't accumulated an enormous résumé yet. Instead, look deeper:

What did their training actually involve?

Have they shadowed or assisted experienced professionals?

Have they worked in other positions on film sets?

Can they explain how they would approach your scenes?

Can they demonstrate an understanding of choreography and filmmaking?

Do they have a mentor?

Do they know when something is beyond their current expertise?

And perhaps most revealingly:

Do they ask you good questions?

A strong IC should be interviewing the production almost as much as the production is interviewing them. They should want to know what you are filming, what the director envisions, what performers are being asked to do, what the nudity and simulated-sex requirements are, what your schedule looks like, and what kind of collaboration you expect.

The Credential Should Be the Beginning of the Conversation

Standards are useful. Training requirements are useful. Certifications and accreditation can provide valuable benchmarks in a profession that desperately needs them. But minimum requirements are exactly that:

Minimum requirements. They should never replace thoughtful hiring.

When hiring an Intimacy Coordinator, you are choosing the person who may be standing beside your actors during some of the most vulnerable work they will ever perform. You are also choosing a filmmaker who needs to communicate with your director, ADs, camera department, wardrobe team, producers, and performers while helping translate intimate storytelling into something safe, repeatable, and cinematic.

Don't hire a credential!

Hire the person whose skills match the scene you are asking your actors to perform and the production you are asking them to join.

Questions to Ask When Hiring an IC

• Where did you receive your intimacy coordination training?

• How long was the program, and what did the curriculum cover?

• Was your training introductory, advanced, or multi-level?

• What additional education have you completed?

• How much practical filmmaking experience do you have?

• Have you shadowed or assisted another IC?

• Do you currently work with a mentor?

• Can you contact that mentor during production if needed?

• How would you describe your working relationship with directors?

• Are you comfortable taking the lead on choreography?

• Are you comfortable working in a more observational/supportive capacity when appropriate?

• What kinds of intimate content have you previously worked with?

• Do you have specialized knowledge relevant to the material in this production?

• How do you choreograph simulated intimacy for camera?

• How familiar are you with camera angles, coverage, continuity, blocking, and movement direction?

• What training do you have in conflict resolution and de-escalation?

• What training do you have in Mental Health First Aid or similar crisis-response skills?

• How do you respond when a performer's boundary changes after choreography has already been established?

• How do you handle disagreement between a director's creative vision and a performer's established boundaries?

• What do you do when you encounter something on set that falls outside your expertise?

You don't need to go through this entire list in every interview. Think of it as a guideline to help you understand what to look for, how to navigate the interview, and what to be wary of when choosing an IC for your production. Every production is different. Every intimate scene is different. And every Intimacy Coordinator brings a different combination of training, experience, personality, specialties, and working style to the set.

The goal isn't to find the IC with the longest résumé, the most certificates, or the most impressive list of credentials. The goal is to find the right IC for your production. And the more YOU understand about this role—what an IC should know, what they should be capable of doing, and what questions are worth asking—the better your chances of hiring someone who is truly the right fit. Because ultimately, hiring the right Intimacy Coordinator isn't about checking boxes. It's about knowing who you're bringing onto your set—and why.